Rumsfeld announces Bin Laden located
"WASHINGTON, DC—Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld announced Tuesday that Osama bin Laden, prime suspect in the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, has 'at long last been found.'
"'For more than two years, we combed the Middle East looking for bin Laden,' Rumsfeld said. 'Frankly, it was starting to be an embarrassment. You can imagine our surprise when we finally found him hiding deep inside the darkest recesses of each and every one of our souls.'"